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Updated: Oct 20, 2022

I open my eyes

Look out my window

Another year

Another day

With people, I don’t really like

With fake smiles

Don’t be impolite

Proximity is why we’re friends

Not because you like me

But because there was no one else

Everyone already paired up

Late to the game

Were what’s left

Stuck together

If we lived in different towns

In different cities

In different countries

In different lives

And we found each other

Would we be friends or foes

Allies or enemies

Would you be here

By my side

If someone else asked you to sit with them

Would you be here

If there were a couple hundred more

If there was just one more

Would you be here

I wasn’t your first choice

But you’re still stuck with me

Were partners

Put together by the seating plan

Put together by proximity

So why can’t I just smile

And pretend you want to be here

Why can’t I just be happy that you are here

Before your gone

Why am I stuck thinking that you would rather be anywhere else

Then right here

With me

That you would rather be beside someone else

Than beside me

Another day

another year

You smile that fake smile

You reserve the real ones for your real friends

And I am stuck pretending that that’s your real smile

When we both know it isn’t

Another day

another year

you laugh your fake laugh

That couldn’t cut the tension even if it tried

And I’m stuck pretending that it did

Another day

another year

With your interest your fake interest

While you’re seething behind my back

Rolling your eyes

And I’m stuck pretending That you care

When we both know you don’t

I wasn’t your first choice

I wasn’t even your last

I was your evenifyouwerethelastpersononearthIwouldratherdie choice

yet here we are

And I open my eyes

And Lookout my window

And the years blur together

And the days march on

With my friends

My proximity friends

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